‘Sex toys? Me? Mmmm, maybe – I’m not sure where to start…’ We remember having conversations like this before we became au fait with the delights of the exciting and ever-changing world of sex toys. Yes, we were rookies once and although we’re now leading the charge of the sexual revolution, we can remember feeling a bit bewildered by the range of toys you could buy. Bullets, butt plugs, vibrators… What does a cock ring do? What size dildo do I get? What’s a love egg?
Don’t worry, we’re here to guide you through all the different sex toys you can buy and try, as well as how to stay safe and keep your toys clean. Ready to dabble? Here’s our very own Sex Toy Guide For Beginners Let’s go…
These little, power-packed vibrators are often the first step into sex toys. Small in stature, they’re discreet and easy to use so they make a gentle introduction for newcomers dipping their toe.
Bullets come in various sizes – from the micro bullet at around 2 inches, like Doin It and Sexy MF, to slighter larger versions at around 3 inches – and while some are single speed, most will have a choice of speeds as well as varying pulsating patterns. Used on the clitoris the buzz creates intense stimulation followed by a heady climax! Bullets may be small in size but, trust us, they are big on pleasure.
Bullets are not designed to insert into the vagina, however, they are fun to try on other areas of the body as well as the clitoris, such as around the nipples, perineum, the shaft of his penis and the top of the thigh. Delicious! Starting to wish you’d tried sex toys earlier?
- Good starter sex toy
- External use only
- Great for a clitoral orgasm
Once you’re confident using a bullet and you’re ready to try penetration, a vibrator is the next logical step in your sex toy journey.
Vibrators come in many shapes and sizes. Generally slimmer and smaller in size than dildos, vibrators are a non-intimating way to introduce penetration to playtime. They can be used in a similar way to a bullet with varying speeds and pulsating patterns to choose from for clitoral stimulation, but with the added bonus of penetration for vaginal highs. Some vibrators are smooth and some have ridges to give increased arousal, such as the J’Taime Silky Touch vibrator, which features carefully-designed nobbles and ridges to give you a more intense experience.
When using sex toys that involve penetration, it’s always wise to use a lube. You’ll find that sex toys are made from different materials – from glass to metal to silicone – so also check that it’s the right lube for the product (although a water-based lube is suitable for most). Secondly, check the size of the vibrator is right for what you are used to! Not ready for king dong yet? Vibrators such as Ooh La La measure up at 7.1 inches in length and 1.5 in diameter and are just big enough for those getting started.
- Varying speeds and pulsating patterns
- Good for beginners ready to try penetration
- Vibrators come in many shapes and sizes
- Use lube and check the size before you buy
One vibrator has become so popular since it was first launched in the 1990s, it deserves its very own entry in this guide. What’s so special about this bunny-shaped device, so called because the clitoral stimulator originally looked like floppy rabbit ears? Well, this wonder product for women aims to satisfy the holy grail of both a clitoral and vaginal orgasm at the same time. Swoon! That’s special, right?
The clitoral stimulator normally has a variety of settings, while the shaft works independently with its own speeds and functions, so you can have either or both. Nice to have a choice, isn’t it?
Start by using the clitoral stimulator around the nipples and the top of the thighs for stimulation before placing it on the clitoris whilst inserting the shaft to seek out your G-spot to give you a high like no other! It’s as simple as that. Whether you’re a newbie or an experienced sex-toy lover, the rabbit will be your go-to vibrator for a quick orgasm and it remains probably the most-used toy in any women’s drawer.
- A clitoral and G-spot stimulator in one device
- Rabbits come in different shapes and sizes, so check before you buy
- Easy to use and good for beginners looking for a variety of sensations
- Rabbits are usually waterproof and great in the shower!
If the buzz of a vibrator doesn’t float your boat but you want penetrative pleasure then head to the most traditional of all sex toys: the dildo. Although the penis-shaped dildo has been around since ancient Greece, it remains a firm favourite with men and women partly because they are designed to be so lifelike.
If you’ve never explored dildo options be prepared to enter a wonderful, colourful world where you can select from a starter-sized 6 inches in length with a 4 inch girth to a mighty-sized dong of 8 inches in length and 6 inches in girth. Choose from realistic ball and cock style dildos, ones made from glass or silicone or jelly; vibrating dildos, double-ended, dildos on a harness or ones that inflate or dildos that look and feel like floppy willies. Trust us: there is something for everyone. Another tip for those about to sample the delights of the dildo is to check both the length and the girth to make sure it’s a good fit. Like all sex toys, it’s good to build up the size slowly. A dildo with a suction cup is also a good idea as you can enjoy a hands-free play. Time for a shower anyone?
- Largely used for penetrative pleasure
- Check the both the length and girth is right for you
- Use lube for maximum pleasure
- Choose a suitable cleaning fluid
We all know that an important part of sex is foreplay. That gorgeous build-up to an orgasm: slowly increasing the tension and pleasure while leading your partner into a climax. When you are experimenting with sex toys it’s equally vital to enjoy the journey and not just the destination. Massaging wands are vibrators that are designed to be used all over the body to soothe, relax and then tempt and tease you before being used for penetration.
Wands are normally made from smooth silicon and curved in shape with a larger bulbous head for penetration and a tapered end for use as a massager. Both ends have a vibrating option like So Divine’s Wicked Game, which has a variety of speeds, settings and pulsating patterns to choose from to get you tingling in all the right places. Power is important with wands. When using it as a massager you need to feel the vibrations penetrate your skin and when it’s time to orgasm… well, we’ve never heard anyone say, ‘Just a mild tingle please’!
- Wands can be used for external and internal use
- Wands can be powerful so read the reviews before you buy
- Choose a wand with a variety of settings
Anal play used to be a taboo subject consigned to a box labeled ‘fetish’. Thankfully, a more liberated approach to sex in all its wonderful guises means that more of us are dabbling with anal sex as well as toys that are designed to stimulate the anus and rectum – an area that has more nerve endings than any other part of your body. More nerve endings, the greater the sensations, right?
Although anal sex is no longer considered to be a no-go area for heterosexual couples, it remains a truth that anal play isn’t for everyone. So, if bum fun doesn’t float your boat, please feel free to move on swiftly to the next chapter of this guide… however, if the thought of stimulating your anus gives you a tingle, butt plugs are a great way to increase the intensity of an orgasm and build up to anal sex.
Butt plugs come in all sizes, from pinkie-esque beginner plugs to strapping biggies for those experienced in anal play; for a bit of butt bling, So Divine’s Sweet Sensation has a jewel-adorned bottom to add a bit of extra sparkle to play. Start small and build up as you get more used to the sensation of having something inserted into your butt. At first it can feel like you need to use the toilet, but just relax and you’ll soon adjust. Design-wise butt plugs are tapered for easy insertion and they should always have a flared base. You definitely don’t want anything disappearing up there, unless you fancy a red-faced trip to A&E!
Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate so it’s really important to use plenty of a water-based lube on both the plug and yourself. Many people avoid anal play because of concerns that it will be painful but with plenty of lube, a gentle approach and the right size plug, you’ll be butt happy!
- Start small with beginner-sized plugs
- Use plenty of lube designed for anal play
- Always use a toy with a flared end
Why should girls have all the fun we hear you ask? The sex toy market might seem like its predominantly catering for women but there is an array of toys designed specifically for men, the most popular of which is the cock ring. These can start with a simple and effective device, like the Mendurance Joy Ring, to more complicated set-ups that involve multiple cock and ball rings with additions such as butt plugs, dildos and vibrators.
Cock rings work by allowing blood flow into the penis but restricting blood flow out ensuring a harder, longer-lasting erection and a delayed but more intense orgasm. Most cock rings are made out of a flexible material, such as silicone, but some are made from metal. If you’re using a flexible cock ring it can be put on before or during an erection (but only put metal rings on when you are soft). Using plenty of lube, stretch the ring and lower it to the base of the penis or stretch it under the balls if you have a cock or ball ring… then sit back and watch your manhood grow. Simple, eh?
- Don’t wear cock rings for more than 30 minutes
- Measure up first to get the right size cock ring
- Use plenty of lube
Love Eggs & Jiggle Balls
Why keep play to the bedroom? A little bit of clandestine stimulation never did anyone any harm. Love eggs and jiggle balls are toys that are designed to be worn on the go and these little beauties fit nice and snug inside the vagina so that you can carry on with your day as normal… just with a little added extra frisson!
A love egg looks like a short, fat bullet that vibrates and is operated by a remote control so that you can set it to different speed and functions. Jiggle balls are two, small marble-shaped balls that move around inside you stimulating the G-spot. Both eggs and balls have a loop so they can be easily removed.
Secretly wearing a love egg or jiggle balls will give you a warm glow and a happy little smile. It’s a subtle experience so, don’t worry, you won’t suddenly start doing a ‘Meg Ryan’ in Harry Met Sally! An added bonus is that both the egg and balls can have health benefits as they exercise the pelvic floor, improving bladder function and producing more intense orgasms.
- Choose love eggs and jiggle balls that are made from silicone
- Wear them all day, but not all night
- Look after your eggs and balls by cleaning them after use
If you’d like to learn more about sex toys read our blog post: 12 Essential Dos & Don’ts of Sex Toys