It’s normal for your sex life to hit peaks and valleys, especially when your everyday routine starts to feel mundane, but that doesn’t mean you have to sit idly by while you and your partner grow further apart.
If you’re looking for ways to spice up your bedroom activities, then look no further because here are some quick tips for bringing the spark back into your sex life.
Distance can be the biggest hurdle when it comes to getting intimate with your partner, especially if you’re quarantining or trying to take extra precautions. However, there are still ways to get your freak on even if you’re miles away from your partner. Many couples and singles are turning to platforms like FaceTime or Skype to experiment with virtual sex to fulfill their sexual frustrations.
Before jumping into virtual bed with someone, remember that it’s crucial to establish boundaries to help you feel safe and comfortable. Discussing your wants and needs and even fears will help create a safe space for intimacy and will make it easier to transition into something kinkier.
Be transparent in what you want, and always ask first. Asking your partner to remove an article of clothing or to touch themselves can reassure consent but can also be a gateway to some dirty talk. If you’re nervous about initiating, play a game to loosen things up like 21 questions or truth or dare.
Sexual positioning is an important but stressful aspect of engaging in virtual sex. However, there are countless fun positions to choose from, like placing your laptop on a somewhat elevated surface while you kneel, so that your partner can get a full view of your body. Or if you want something more focused on your genitals, then focus the camera on just the bottom half while you pleasure yourself.
Try Gift Giving
Sex toys are a fun and easy way to introduce something new, and exciting to the bedroom. Sex toys are great because there’s something for everyone and their desires. If you’re someone who lacks knowledge in the sex toy department, then focus on you and your partner’s needs to help asset what toy would be best to bring in the bedroom.
Now, it can seem overwhelming at first with the various options, which is why it’s important to discuss what you’re looking to turn up a notch. If you are looking for something more basic and easy to use, then consider buying the bullet vibrator, which is great for external use and a less intimidating way to introduce sex toys to your partner.
If you really want to take it up a notch, try something that will for sure leave you wanting more like the So Divine Addicted Love Egg With Remote Control, a vibrator operated by a remote control that stimulates the G-spot, and allows you to indulge in some private fun outside of your normal day-to-day.
Click here for a sex toy guide for beginners.
Add Some Fantasy
What are your deepest sexual desires? Have you ever shared them with your partner? Discussing your sexual desires or fantasies may seem uncomfortable at first, however, they shouldn’t as they are a natural part of everyone’s sexuality. Start by opening the conversation, although you might feel weird at first, you will quickly learn that your partner shares some of the same fantasies as you.
Fulfilling your sexual fantasy might be as simple as changing up your sexual routine by having sex in the back of your car, or escaping to a public bathroom for a quick blowjob. Make a sex bucket list of things you both have wanted to try, and cross each activity off when completed. This will give you both something to look forward to.
Roleplaying is another aspect of sex that often gets overlooked due to fear of embarrassment but roleplaying is a healthy way to change up power dynamics. It can also be a way to challenge typical gender normals, like women being the submissive character, while men are the more dominant ones. If you’re normal the submissive in sex, then send a provocative text that details the ways you will take control once you’re together, or how you would get your partner to climax.
This will allow you and your sexual partner to release inhibitions and truly be engulfed in pleasure you’ve never experienced.
Communicate Needs and Nerves
Communication is one aspect of sex that will never go out of fashion. If you’re someone who struggles with their sexuality making it difficult to let loose in the bedroom, then discuss that with your partner. It’s important to keep things open and honest to ensure that you both are on the same page.
Medicational conditions like erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness might create some sex-related nerves. However, there are possible solutions to help conquer those nerves like Viagra for men or a water-based lubricant for women. If you find it difficult to discuss any sex-related nerves, then consider talking to a sex therapist that can help you or you and your partner get over the hump.
Communication should not stop at foreplay but should be happening during sex as well. Sex should always be pleasurable for all parties involved. If you’re feeling uneasy or in pain then speak up. You should also speak up if you want more from your sexual experience. Asking to be spanked or needing more direction might seem awkward but in reality, it can help you learn more about how to satisfy your partner
Don’t let your bedroom activities fall by the waistline, because life’s too short to have a dull sex life. It’s never too late to take charge of your pleasure so why not start now. And remember, sex is fun, so enjoy it!