Grow with pleasure. Know with pleasure. Glow with pleasure.
The place to come for advice on sexual wellbeing, added pleasure and all the other sex ed you need to know. If you’re looking to improve your sex life, get the most out of your sex toys and enjoy life that little more, then this is the place to be.
Menopause: Unfiltered
To celebrate Menopause Awareness Month, we asked our community to tell us what menopause really feels like.
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Curious About Squirting? Here Are Top Tips From Cat at Ersties!
At So Divine, we're all about helping you feel more confident, informed, and empowered when it comes to sexual wellness. That's why we're excited to be partnering with Ersties as our guest sexperts, bringing you a series of articles exploring the topics we're all curious about but don't always feel comfortable asking. Ersties is a female-founded ethical porn platform that combines authentic, female-gaze adult content with educational workshops focused on real pleasure, body confidence, and sexual wellbeing. Together, we'll be sharing expert insights, practical tips, and honest conversations to help you discover what feels good for you. To kick off the series, Cat, Head of Creative, Community and Education at Ersties, is tackling one of the most frequently asked questions in sexual wellness: squirting. Drawing on expert guidance, scientific understanding, and the real experiences of women featured in Ersties' educational Squirting Workshop, Cat shares her top tips for approaching squirting with curiosity, confidence, and without pressure. After all, there's no "right" outcome, it's all about exploring your body and discovering what feels good for you. 1. Relaxation Comes First One of the biggest takeaways from the workshop is that relaxation isn't just helpful, it's essential. The instructors explain that building pleasure gradually allows arousal to develop naturally. Taking deep breaths, slowing down, and checking in with your body creates the foundation for more intense sensations later on. Whether that means enjoying a sensual massage, spending longer on foreplay, or simply allowing yourself to unwind, creating a relaxed mindset often makes all the difference. 2. Build Arousal Slowly Squirting is as much about building energy as it is about letting go. Breathwork can play an important role here. Focusing on deep, rhythmic breathing while allowing yourself to make sounds and move naturally can help release tension and increase body awareness. Rather than rushing, the workshop encourages building arousal gradually instead of chasing an outcome. And don't forget to stay hydrated…you might need that glass of water nearby! 3. Get to Know Your G-Spot Another key part of the workshop focuses on understanding your anatomy. The G-spot is typically found on the front wall of the vagina, a few centimetres inside, and often feels slightly firmer or more textured than the surrounding tissue. Taking time to experiment with different pressures, rhythms, and "come hither" motions can help you discover what feels pleasurable for your body. The workshop also notes that steady, consistent G-spot stimulation is often more effective than simply increasing speed or intensity. Sometimes slower really is better. 4. Let Go of Performance Pressure Perhaps the most valuable advice shared throughout the workshop is to stop making squirting the goal. When we become focused on achieving a specific outcome, it can create tension that actually makes it harder to relax into pleasure. Instead, explore with curiosity. Whether you squirt or not doesn't define the experience. Pleasure, connection, and self-discovery are just as valuable. 5. Don't Be Alarmed If It Feels Like You Need to Pee Many people say that just before they squirt, they experience a strong sensation of needing to pee. Because squirting happens through the urethra, it's common to mistake this feeling and instinctively hold back. If you're relaxed and comfortably aroused, try not to panic or tense up as your body naturally suppresses the urge to urinate during sexual arousal, so that sensation may actually be a sign that you're getting close to squirting. Instead of resisting the feeling, try relaxing into it and letting your body respond naturally. 6. Don't Be Afraid of the Mess One of the biggest myths surrounding squirting is that it's simply urine. While the sensation can sometimes feel similar to needing to pee, female ejaculation is a different physiological process involving fluid released from the Skene's glands, often mixed with fluid from the bladder. The important message is not to panic if that familiar feeling appears, it may simply be part of the experience for some people. If it helps you relax, pop a towel down beforehand and allow yourself to let go without worrying about keeping everything perfectly tidy. 7. Be Patient With Yourself The workshop finishes with perhaps its most empowering message: not everybody squirts, and that's completely okay. Some people discover it quickly, while others may never experience it at all. Neither outcome is a reflection of how much pleasure you're capable of experiencing. The goal isn't to tick something off a sexual bucket list. It's to enjoy learning about your body without judgement or expectation. Want to Learn More? Get even more squirting tips from the Ersties performers in their special squirting series here To celebrate our partnership with Ersties, we're giving customers the opportunity to explore these workshops for themselves. Throughout June, every purchase of a So Divine toy includes a 7-day Ersties membership, giving you access to the full squirting workshop as well as their extensive collection of educational and women-made, ethical adult content. And if you're curious about exploring G-spot stimulation for yourself, our Self-Pleasure G-Spot Vibrator, Pearl Vibe, Ribbed Vibrator, and Self-Pleasure Rabbit Vibrator are all great options for discovering what feels best for your body. After all, pleasure isn't about reaching a particular destination. It's about enjoying the journey, exploring without pressure, and learning more about what works for you! Explore all Ersties' beautiful videos here.
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How So Divine Turned Heads at Royal Ascot With Our Most Talked-About Hats Yet
When people think of Royal Ascot, they think of glamorous fashion, extravagant hats and one of the most iconic events in the British social calendar. This year, So Divine brought something a little different to Ladies' Day. As a sexual wellness brand, we're no strangers to challenging conventions. While many brands can rely on traditional advertising to reach new audiences, sexual wellness companies often face significant restrictions across social media, digital advertising and mainstream marketing channels. That's why creativity has always been at the heart of what we do. This year, we took that creativity to Royal Ascot, combining fashion, humour and a powerful message about sexual wellness to create one of our most memorable brand activations to date. The result? Thousands of conversations, countless photographs, social media buzz and national press coverage in The Sun. A Royal Ascot Fashion Statement With a Difference For the campaign, So Divine partnered with renowned sex and relationship expert Dr Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, best known for her appearances on Celebs Go Dating, alongside journalist and broadcaster Georgie Culley. Joining them were members of the So Divine team, all dressed in striking red outfits to create a cohesive visual presence throughout the racecourse. Royal Ascot has long been synonymous with statement headwear. Every year, racegoers compete to showcase the most creative, elegant and eye-catching designs. For our Ascot activation, we created hats inspired by strawberries. But hidden amongst the designs was a subtle surprise – our bestselling Strawgasm vibrator cleverly incorporated into the headpieces. From afar, the hats looked like stylish race-day fashion accessories. Up close, they revealed a playful nod to pleasure and sexual wellness. The reactions were exactly what we'd hoped for: smiles, laughter, curiosity and, most importantly, conversation. Why We Brought Sexual Wellness to Royal Ascot At So Divine, our mission is simple: to make sexual wellness more accessible, empowering and stigma-free. While attitudes towards pleasure and wellbeing have evolved significantly in recent years, conversations around sexual wellness can still feel taboo for many people. We believe that pleasure should be discussed with the same openness as any other aspect of health and wellbeing. By bringing that conversation into mainstream cultural moments, we can help normalise the subject and encourage people to feel more comfortable talking about it. Royal Ascot provided the perfect setting. It's a celebration of individuality, confidence and self-expression – values that align closely with everything So Divine stands for. The Hats That Got Everyone Talking The activation quickly attracted attention from fellow racegoers, photographers and journalists. Throughout the event, people stopped to take photos, ask questions and share the hats on social media. What started as a playful fashion statement soon became a wider conversation about confidence, pleasure and women's wellbeing. The campaign ultimately secured coverage in The Sun, introducing So Divine to thousands of new people and helping us continue our mission of making sexual wellness part of everyday conversation. More Than Just a PR Stunt While the bespoke hats certainly generated attention, this campaign was about much more than creating a memorable photo opportunity. At So Divine, we believe sexual wellness deserves a place in mainstream culture and everyday conversation. Through our products, education and campaigns, we're committed to helping people feel confident exploring pleasure and prioritising their wellbeing. Royal Ascot provided a unique platform to bring those conversations into a space where they might not traditionally be expected. The result wasn't just visibility for our brand it was genuine engagement, meaningful conversations and an opportunity to challenge outdated perceptions in a positive and approachable way. Why Creativity Matters in Sexual Wellness Marketing Unlike many consumer brands, sexual wellness companies face significant restrictions when it comes to advertising. From social media platforms limiting content to paid advertising policies that often exclude products in our category, reaching new audiences isn't always straightforward. Traditional marketing routes that many brands take for granted are often unavailable to us. That's why creativity is so important. At So Divine, we're constantly looking for innovative ways to start conversations, increase awareness and bring sexual wellness into mainstream culture. Rather than relying solely on conventional advertising, we focus on creating memorable moments that people genuinely want to talk about, share and engage with. Our Royal Ascot Ladies' Day activation was a perfect example of that approach. By combining fashion, humour, expert voices and a culturally relevant event, we were able to create a campaign that generated organic conversation, social engagement and national media coverage, all while staying true to our mission of making sexual wellness more open, accessible and stigma-free. Sometimes thinking outside the box isn't just an advantage - it's a necessity. Continuing the Conversation The response to our Royal Ascot activation reminded us why we do what we do. When people feel comfortable talking about pleasure, confidence and wellbeing, barriers begin to disappear. Whether through innovative products, educational content or memorable campaigns, So Divine will continue finding new ways to challenge outdated perceptions and encourage open conversations. And if those conversations happen to start with a very unusual Ascot hat, even better. Read the full feature You can read The Sun's coverage of our Royal Ascot hats and the reactions they generated here: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/39470124/sex-toys-ascot-the-sun-sexpert-hats/
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The Best Pleasure Pairing: So Divine & Ersties
This Masturbation May, So Divine is teaming up with ethical porn platform Ersties to challenge the outdated myths that still surround masturbation and porn! Together, we are launching a campaign designed to confront stigma and spark open, honest conversations around self-love. For too long, masturbation has been wrapped in secrecy and shame, while porn has often been viewed through a narrow, negative lens. But attitudes are shifting. By pairing our sexual wellness products with Ersties commitment to authentic, ethically produced porn, the collaboration offers a healthier, more mindful approach to solo pleasure. We want to not only normalise pleasure but also show that masturbation can be empowering, intentional, and entirely free from guilt. Together, we aim to replace taboo with transparency and myth with modern understanding, encouraging everyone to explore solo pleasure. Throughout May, we’ll be sharing video content across our channels, so keep an eye out to learn more about masturbation! Your browser does not support the video tag. Learn More About Ersties- The Porn Platform Changing How We See Female Pleasure Ersties is an independent adult entertainment platform, created by women, and focused on female pleasure. Founded with the vision of creating an alternative to mainstream pornography, Ersties has grown into a leading platform in ethical adult entertainment, setting the standard for inclusivity, consent, and performer-led storytelling. Known for its authentic, self-produced erotic content, Ersties celebrates female sexuality through a curated mix of masturbation solos, girl-girl encounters, feature-length fantasies, unique playdates, and erotic stills and playful gameshows such as “Tinder in Real Life” that explore connection, dating, and intimacy in fun, unscripted ways. All content is inclusive, ethically produced, and designed to empower women to embrace their sexuality without judgment. Reinventing adult films through the female gaze, Ersties creates scenes based on what performers genuinely enjoy- no fake orgasms, no scripted scenarios, and nothing that isn’t on their own terms. With its emphasis on real personalities, diversity, and intimacy, Ersties has, for over a decade, grown into a global community of pleasure-lovers, distinguishing itself from mainstream adult entertainment with a playful, natural, and empowering perspective on sexuality. Interested in trying Ersties? Throughout May, anyone who purchases a toy from the So Divine website will receive a FREE 7-day membership to Ersties, the perfect pairing to enjoy with your new toy! *Free membership only available to new Ersties members
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What is the orgasm gap?
What is the orgasm gap? The orgasm gap describes the disparity between orgasms experienced by heterosexual men and heterosexual women. Studies have shown that, 91% of heterosexual men reported that they usually or always experienced an orgasm during sex, in comparison to just 39% of heterosexual women….That is an orgasm gap of 52%! Why is there such a big orgasm gap? Lack of education. One of the main reasons for this gap is our cultural ignorance and the lack of knowledge/education on the clitoris. The clitoris is not just a little pleasure spot outside of the vulva, it is in fact a large internal organ made up of erectile tissue containing over 10,000 nerve fibers! For the majority of vulva owners, orgasms can only be achieved through direct clitoral stimulation! However, it appears that many people think vaginal penetration is the best and only way for vulva owners to orgasm which is incorrect. Most people cannot orgasm from penetration alone and need clitoral stimulation. The lack of education surrounding the clitoris and female pleasure could perhaps be one of the main reasons the orgasm gap exists. Female sexual pleasure hasn’t been considered important. In addition to the lack of knowledge surrounding the clitoris, many women haven’t been taught to prioritise their pleasure. In heterosexual sex, it is common for the sex to end once the male partner has climaxed. Porn also reinforces this too. It is very rare to watch a man prioritise a women’s pleasure once he has ejaculated in porn. Research has suggested that people tend to copy the sexual acts they see in porn, in fact 30% of teenagers in one study claimed that porn was their initial source of sex education. So when the majority of mainstream porn focuses on male pleasure, this is also replicated in real life sex where female pleasure can be easily ignored. It influences what we think ‘normal’ sex should be like. This leads to the belief that only (p in v) penetrative sex leads to a female orgasm. How can we close the orgasm gap? There are a lot of things we can do to close the orgasm gap including the following... 1. Educate, educate, educate. Educate yourself about the female anatomy. Start of by learning about the difference between the vulva and vagina as well as learning about function of the clitoris and the importance of clitoral stimulation during sex. 2. Masturbate. If you are a vulva owner then the best place to start is by getting to know your own body through masturbation and self-exploration. Getting to know your body will enable you to learn exactly what you like and don’t like. You can then teach this to your partner(s) and show them the best technique that best works for you. 3. Experiment with sex toys. Experiment with sex toys! Sex toys will make it easier for you to orgasm and are also great to introduce in partnered sex. Small and narrow sex toys such as bullet vibrators are a great toys to use during sex and will also make it easier for you to orgasm as you can focus on clitoral stimulation. Cock rings are also a great for partnered sex offering dual stimulation for both partners. 4. Talk to your partner about sex. Communicating with your partner is key and is one of the most important factors in improving your sex life and orgasm potential in partnered sex. It is important to communicate with them what you like/don’t like and what techniques works best for you. Making this a habit will ensure that both you and your partner are on the same page about pleasure. 5. Stop faking orgasms. No matter your gender, whenever you fake an orgasm, your partner will assume that what they were doing worked and was pleasurable for you. They may then use the same technique next time (which may not work for you). Rather than faking an orgasm, suggest to your partner to try a technique that you enjoy. 6. Stimulate the clitoris!!! Perhaps the most important factor in reducing the orgasm gap… more focus needs to be on stimulating the clit. More than 80% of vulva owners cannot reach an orgasm solely through penetration! Therefore MORE focus needs to be on stimulating the clitoris rather than just P in V penetration which is less likely to lead to an orgasm.
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Elevate Your Solo Play: Tips for Self-Love and Exploration
In a world often focused on relationships and partnerships, it's easy to forget the immense potential and joy of solo play. Whether you're single, in a relationship, or simply looking to enhance your personal pleasure, prioritising solo play can be a powerful tool for self-discovery, empowerment, and fulfilment. Here at So Divine, we believe in celebrating self-love in all its forms, and that includes solo play. So, let's dive into some tips to elevate your solo play experience to new heights. Create a Sensual Environment Set the mood for yourself just as you would if you were with a partner. Light some candles, play soft music, and adorn your space with items that make you feel sensual and comfortable. Creating a welcoming environment can enhance your experience and help you relax into the moment. Explore Your Fantasies Solo play is the perfect opportunity to explore your deepest desires and fantasies without inhibition. Let your imagination run wild and indulge in whatever turns you on. Whether it's through erotic literature, visual media, or simply your own thoughts, give yourself permission to explore without judgment. Invest in Quality Sex Toys A good sex toy can make all the difference in solo play! Whether you prefer vibrators, dildos, or something more unconventional, invest in high-quality toys that are body-safe and designed for pleasure. From vibrators to dildos to intimate massagers, we stock a wide range of sex toys available to suit every preference and desire! Focus on Sensation Masturbation is a chance to truly focus on your own pleasure and the sensations that bring you joy. Take your time to explore different touches, pressures, and rhythms to discover what feels best for you. Experiment with different techniques and pay attention to how your body responds. Practice Mindfulness Incorporate mindfulness into your solo play sessions by staying present and attentive to your body's sensations. Focus on the feeling of touch, the rhythm of your breath, and the pleasure you're experiencing in the moment. Mindfulness can deepen your connection to yourself and enhance the overall experience. Embrace Self-Exploration Use solo play as an opportunity for self-exploration and self-discovery. Take the time to learn about your body, what feels good, and what doesn't. Experiment with different erogenous zones and techniques to expand your pleasure potential and deepen your understanding of yourself. Prioritise Self-Care Aftercare isn't just for partnered play—it's essential for solo play too. Take care of yourself both before and after your solo play sessions by engaging in self-care practices that nurture your body and mind. Whether it's a warm bath, a soothing massage, or simply cuddling up with a good book, prioritise activities that leave you feeling nourished and cared for. Solo play is a beautiful opportunity to celebrate and explore your own pleasure in a way that is deeply personal and empowering. By following these tips and embracing the journey of self-discovery, you can elevate your solo play experience and cultivate a deeper sense of self-love and fulfilment. So, go ahead -indulge yourself, explore your desires, and revel in the pleasure of your own company. You deserve it!
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Sex & Menopause - The Good Bad & The Sexy
The good, the bad and the sexy Sex and menopause. There are two words that didn’t often sit in the same company until the likes of Davina McCall and Mariella Frostrup bravely kickstarted the long overdue discussion around what sex, sexual identity and sexual wellness looks like for the 51% of the population during menopause. For many menopausal women sex and sexual wellness is different to what it was in their 20s and 30s. There are emotional changes alongside the physical effects of low estrogen and testosterone but this doesn’t (and shouldn’t) mean the end of a women’s sexual journey. Quite the opposite! It can be the start of a new way of exploring female sexuality and a more confident quest to discover just what makes you feel good. The transformative physical and emotional journey that most women experience when going through the menopause can be undeniably difficult, but it can also be hugely positive. ‘It’s a time of liberation,’ says Davina McCall ‘It’s a time of shedding the shackles of inhibition and of giving a damn.’ It’s also time to put aside the fear, shame and dread that women once felt around talking about sex and the menopause. So let’s chat about the good, the bad and the sexy… A triple whammy Understanding what happens in your body during the menopause is important. So let’s look at what physically occurs during the three stages of menopause. Perimenopause is the time leading up to menopause when hormones start to decline, and menstrual cycles become erratic and irregular. Menopause is when you stop producing the hormones (estrogen/progesterone) that cause the menstrual cycle and when a woman has gone without having a period for 12 months she then enters the post-menopause phase. And she will stay there for the rest of her life. Each phase of the menopause can (but not always) bring with it an array of different symptoms. It’s crucial to emphasis at this point that the menopause is an individual experience and there is no blanket, one-size-fits-all ‘diagnosis’. This is not a disease, but rather a natural phase of life and each woman has her own experience of it. However, there classic symptoms and the common physical side-effects of low estrogen and testosterone include hot flushes, low libido, vaginal dryness and dyspareunia (pain during sex). Psychologically the menopause can cause low mood, lack of self-esteem, palpitations and irritability while cognitively, symptoms can include poor sleep, low energy and forgetfulness. What was I was saying? Time for a change? There are some interesting studies revealing that in cultures where older people are highly valued, a woman’s experience of the menopause tends to be an easier ride. In China, the menopause is celebrated as the ‘second spring’. In Japan, it is called ‘konenki’, which translates as ko (renewal), nen (year) and ki (energy). Conversely, in the UK the word ‘menopause’ translates as ‘cycle end’. Doesn’t sound quite as inspiring, does it? The impact of this variation in perception is significant. In Asian cultures women report fewer issues regarding their experience of the menopause. In western culture where women are judged differently, the menopause has historically been a shameful, hidden experience – a time where the sexual needs of older woman have been ignored or dismissed and hugely mis-understood. To discuss the menopause was taboo but to talk about sex and the menopause was unheard of outside of a doctor’s surgery. It is time for change. Sexual wellness and the menopause Fifty one per cent of women report that menopause symptoms have impacted on their sex lives – and this doesn’t include the more indirect effects of low self-esteem and mood changes. That’s a lot of women, and a lot of partners! Embracing the experience involves recognising that when a woman reaches peri-menopause or menopause she will experience mind and body changes, alongside which her sexual health needs adjust. A good diet and exercise, hormone replacement and/or natural supplements are important at this time. Self-care is another key ingredient in managing the transition that the menopause brings and we know that sexual wellness is an essential part of self-care. Vaginal dryness and dyspareunia can affect libido and a woman’s positive experience of sexual intimacy; what that means is that women and their partners might need to take a different approach to stimulation and lubrication, whether for solo or shared play, and sex toys can play a hugely positive role here. Time to play At So Divine we are proud to say that we believe that the sexual revolution is not restricted to an age-bracket but that it can thrive for as long as a woman wants to be sexually active, whether with a partner(s) or solo. With that in mind, we have developed a range of sex toys, Embrace & Thrive, that’s specifically aimed at women who are experiencing menopause. Kegel balls are a vital part of rebuilding strength in the pelvic floor, and there are three sizes for progressive training. This also applies to the five-piece dilator set that allows you to build up at a pace that suits you. Each dilator can also be used as a bullet vibrator as well as internally for vaginal arousal, which feels great and helps to encourage blood flow to the area promoting vaginal health. The classic vibrator has been ergonomically designed and tapered to target the clitoris and other erogenous zones, and is perfectly sized for those new to sex toys. Yes, the menopause is time of transition, but we welcome that change because we celebrate female confidence and the dawn of this new era for women. We embrace female sexuality at every age and we believe if you play, you thrive.
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Blow Job Sex Tips by Sexpert Jess Wilde
Advice straight from our expert Jess Wilde on blow job sex tips... Don't Forget Foreplay! Foreplay is a great way to build excitement and prepare the penis for receiving a blow job and, depending on the type of foreplay you do, can also make performing a blow job easier too. One of my favourite tips is to perform a nice lubey hand job prior to using your mouth. Many people make the mistake of thinking lube isn’t needed for a blow job as the mouth is already wet, but that isn’t always the case. The general rule is ‘wetter is better’ so why not prep the peen with a drop of lube ahead of time? Adding lube will help your lips glide across his shaft with ease from the get-go and make the whole experience more enjoyable for both of you. You can even use a flavoured lube like the So Divine Strawberry Lubricant to make things even more delicious! Take Your Time & Build Up Anticipation Take your time and build anticipation. Taking the time to build excitement transforms a good blow job into an amazing blow job. Start by caressing and kissing your partner everywhere that’s usually hidden by their underwear, except their genitals! Stroke and lick their lower tummy, inner thighs and groin, but don’t go near their shaft or balls until they’re well and truly aroused. Once you feel they can’t take anymore (and if your partner is comfortable with ball play) move onto their balls. Next move onto the shaft of the penis, using your lips and tongue to stimulate the full length of the penis, all except the head. Leave the head of the penis until absolutely last. By the time you’ve spent all this time everywhere else, they’ll be practically begging you to put the head in your mouth. This technique of leaving the head until last not only builds anticipation, but it also increases blood flow to the penis and, therefore, sensitivity. By the time you put the tip in your mouth your partner will be so sensitive the warmth of your mouth will be almost overwhelming. For your own comfort, I recommend opening your mouth as wide as possible and sticking your tongue out as far as it will go. This will make maximum space inside your mouth to receive a penis and reduce gagging. It also keeps play really wet and sloppy, which is always a winner. Use Your Hands If you like the idea of giving your partner oral but you just struggle with performing it, there are some tips which can help, one of which is to use your hands too. Blow jobs don’t have to be all mouth, and by adding your hands to the mix to stroke his shaft, you can use your mouth on just the tip of the penis and create the sensation of you taking the full length, without actually doing so. Add Lube & Toys For Extra Sensations Lubes are a great accessory for blow jobs, whether you choose a flavoured one or a simple water-based one, adding lube to your oral play can enhance sensation and slip-factor, which can enhance the experience for both of you. Vibrating toys can also really enhance a blow job. The So Divine Adjustable Vibrating Cock Ring can really amp up pleasure during oral when worn around the base of the penis. The So Divine Vibrating Stimulator is another excellent toy designed to be used on a penis, its curved tip cups the shaft and encircles it with vibrations. It’s great for placing on their penis shaft or head while your mouth looks after their balls. Finally, a trusty butt plug is a surefire way to skyrocket your partner’s pleasure. With a butt plug in place, they can enjoy hands-free anal pleasure while you are left with two free hands and a willing mouth to take care of the rest! The So Divine Silicone Butt Plug is a perfect choice but if you really want to step things up a notch, the So Divine Vibrating Butt Plug is sure to do the trick! Maintain A Steady Rhythm Changing rhythm mid way through a blow job can halt the pleasure. You want to start slow, and incrementally increase your rhythm. Then maintain that rhythm. Changing from slow, to fast, to slow again can be a great way to help edge your partner, but if you want to make them cum, maintaining a steady rhythm is key. The main thing to remember is that everyone is different, and what one person with a penis enjoys, another may not. For example, some people love having the tip of their penis focused on, while others find this area far too sensitive. Some people love deep throat, others really don’t. The biggest mistake people make is not asking their partner what kind of stimulation they like, so be sure to communicate and check in to find out if they like what you’re doing, and if there’s anything you could do differently to really get them there, before you just assume. Focus On More Than The Penis The best blow jobs focus on more than simply the penis. The scrotal skin is an extremely sensitive area that can be very pleasurable when touched. I recommend going in gently, and checking in with your partner regularly to see what works for them. Softly licking and maneuvering the loose skin with your tongue and lips is a good place to start and, if you and your partner are comfortable doing so, you can pop a ball at a time in your mouth. Be careful not to suck too hard or twist the balls though as this can be painful! A particularly sensitive area is the perineal raphe (the line up the middle of the of your partner’s balls) so this can be a great area to focus on; try licking up from their perineum all the way up, between their balls to the shaft, and experiment with using a broad flat tongue vs a skinny pointed tongue to see what they like best. Oral sex is also a great time to explore perineum stimulation and rimming, as these areas are loaded with nerve endings and can produce immense pleasure when stroked and licked. Try combining some shallow rimming with a hand job to really blow their mind. Pick a Comfortable Position The best position for performing a blow job all depends on the shape of the penis! If the erection is straight, then almost any comfortable position will work, but if it has a curve, you may want to pick a position in which the head of the penis is ‘facing you’. For example, if your partner has a penis which curves upwards when erect, then positions like a 69 with you on top can be much easier than you being between their legs or kneeling on the floor. If their penis curves down, then the opposite would be true. If you have long hair it can make things easier if you, and give them a great view, tie your hair up, too. Have Fun! Don’t be afraid to get messy and look like you’re having a good time! A sloppy blowie which you’re really into performing will always be a turn on for your partner. Forget trying to ‘look sexy’ (you already do) and have fun!
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