Better Sex
Elevate Your Solo Play: Tips for Self-Love and Exploration
In a world often focused on relationships and partnerships, it's easy to forget the immense potential and joy of solo play. Whether you're single, in a relationship, or simply looking to enhance your personal pleasure, prioritising solo play can be a powerful tool for self-discovery, empowerment, and fulfilment. Here at So Divine, we believe in celebrating self-love in all its forms, and that includes solo play. So, let's dive into some tips to elevate your solo play experience to new heights. Create a Sensual Environment Set the mood for yourself just as you would if you were with a partner. Light some candles, play soft music, and adorn your space with items that make you feel sensual and comfortable. Creating a welcoming environment can enhance your experience and help you relax into the moment. Explore Your Fantasies Solo play is the perfect opportunity to explore your deepest desires and fantasies without inhibition. Let your imagination run wild and indulge in whatever turns you on. Whether it's through erotic literature, visual media, or simply your own thoughts, give yourself permission to explore without judgment. Invest in Quality Sex Toys A good sex toy can make all the difference in solo play! Whether you prefer vibrators, dildos, or something more unconventional, invest in high-quality toys that are body-safe and designed for pleasure. From vibrators to dildos to intimate massagers, we stock a wide range of sex toys available to suit every preference and desire! Focus on Sensation Masturbation is a chance to truly focus on your own pleasure and the sensations that bring you joy. Take your time to explore different touches, pressures, and rhythms to discover what feels best for you. Experiment with different techniques and pay attention to how your body responds. Practice Mindfulness Incorporate mindfulness into your solo play sessions by staying present and attentive to your body's sensations. Focus on the feeling of touch, the rhythm of your breath, and the pleasure you're experiencing in the moment. Mindfulness can deepen your connection to yourself and enhance the overall experience. Embrace Self-Exploration Use solo play as an opportunity for self-exploration and self-discovery. Take the time to learn about your body, what feels good, and what doesn't. Experiment with different erogenous zones and techniques to expand your pleasure potential and deepen your understanding of yourself. Prioritise Self-Care Aftercare isn't just for partnered play—it's essential for solo play too. Take care of yourself both before and after your solo play sessions by engaging in self-care practices that nurture your body and mind. Whether it's a warm bath, a soothing massage, or simply cuddling up with a good book, prioritize activities that leave you feeling nourished and cared for. Solo play is a beautiful opportunity to celebrate and explore your own pleasure in a way that is deeply personal and empowering. By following these tips and embracing the journey of self-discovery, you can elevate your solo play experience and cultivate a deeper sense of self-love and fulfilment. So, go ahead—indulge yourself, explore your desires, and revel in the pleasure of your own company. You deserve it!
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Sex & Menopause - The Good Bad & The Sexy
The good, the bad and the sexy Sex and menopause. There are two words that didn’t often sit in the same company until the likes of Davina McCall and Mariella Frostrup bravely kickstarted the long overdue discussion around what sex, sexual identity and sexual wellness looks like for the 51% of the population during menopause. For many menopausal women sex and sexual wellness is different to what it was in their 20s and 30s. There are emotional changes alongside the physical effects of low estrogen and testosterone but this doesn’t (and shouldn’t) mean the end of a women’s sexual journey. Quite the opposite! It can be the start of a new way of exploring female sexuality and a more confident quest to discover just what makes you feel good. The transformative physical and emotional journey that most women experience when going through the menopause can be undeniably difficult, but it can also be hugely positive. ‘It’s a time of liberation,’ says Davina McCall ‘It’s a time of shedding the shackles of inhibition and of giving a damn.’ It’s also time to put aside the fear, shame and dread that women once felt around talking about sex and the menopause. So let’s chat about the good, the bad and the sexy… A triple whammy Understanding what happens in your body during the menopause is important. So let’s look at what physically occurs during the three stages of menopause. Perimenopause is the time leading up to menopause when hormones start to decline, and menstrual cycles become erratic and irregular. Menopause is when you stop producing the hormones (estrogen/progesterone) that cause the menstrual cycle and when a woman has gone without having a period for 12 months she then enters the post-menopause phase. And she will stay there for the rest of her life. Each phase of the menopause can (but not always) bring with it an array of different symptoms. It’s crucial to emphasis at this point that the menopause is an individual experience and there is no blanket, one-size-fits-all ‘diagnosis’. This is not a disease, but rather a natural phase of life and each woman has her own experience of it. However, there classic symptoms and the common physical side-effects of low estrogen and testosterone include hot flushes, low libido, vaginal dryness and dyspareunia (pain during sex). Psychologically the menopause can cause low mood, lack of self-esteem, palpitations and irritability while cognitively, symptoms can include poor sleep, low energy and forgetfulness. What was I was saying? Time for a change? There are some interesting studies revealing that in cultures where older people are highly valued, a woman’s experience of the menopause tends to be an easier ride. In China, the menopause is celebrated as the ‘second spring’. In Japan, it is called ‘konenki’, which translates as ko (renewal), nen (year) and ki (energy). Conversely, in the UK the word ‘menopause’ translates as ‘cycle end’. Doesn’t sound quite as inspiring, does it? The impact of this variation in perception is significant. In Asian cultures women report fewer issues regarding their experience of the menopause. In western culture where women are judged differently, the menopause has historically been a shameful, hidden experience – a time where the sexual needs of older woman have been ignored or dismissed and hugely mis-understood. To discuss the menopause was taboo but to talk about sex and the menopause was unheard of outside of a doctor’s surgery. It is time for change. Sexual wellness and the menopause Fifty one per cent of women report that menopause symptoms have impacted on their sex lives – and this doesn’t include the more indirect effects of low self-esteem and mood changes. That’s a lot of women, and a lot of partners! Embracing the experience involves recognising that when a woman reaches peri-menopause or menopause she will experience mind and body changes, alongside which her sexual health needs adjust. A good diet and exercise, hormone replacement and/or natural supplements are important at this time. Self-care is another key ingredient in managing the transition that the menopause brings and we know that sexual wellness is an essential part of self-care. Vaginal dryness and dyspareunia can affect libido and a woman’s positive experience of sexual intimacy; what that means is that women and their partners might need to take a different approach to stimulation and lubrication, whether for solo or shared play, and sex toys can play a hugely positive role here. Time to play At So Divine we are proud to say that we believe that the sexual revolution is not restricted to an age-bracket but that it can thrive for as long as a woman wants to be sexually active, whether with a partner(s) or solo. With that in mind, we have developed a range of sex toys, Embrace & Thrive, that’s specifically aimed at women who are experiencing menopause. Kegel balls are a vital part of rebuilding strength in the pelvic floor, and there are three sizes for progressive training. This also applies to the five-piece dilator set that allows you to build up at a pace that suits you. Each dilator can also be used as a bullet vibrator as well as internally for vaginal arousal, which feels great and helps to encourage blood flow to the area promoting vaginal health. The classic vibrator has been ergonomically designed and tapered to target the clitoris and other erogenous zones, and is perfectly sized for those new to sex toys. Yes, the menopause is time of transition, but we welcome that change because we celebrate female confidence and the dawn of this new era for women. We embrace female sexuality at every age and we believe if you play, you thrive.
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Blow Job Sex Tips by Sexpert Jess Wilde
Advice straight from our expert Jess Wilde on blow job sex tips... Don't Forget Foreplay! Foreplay is a great way to build excitement and prepare the penis for receiving a blow job and, depending on the type of foreplay you do, can also make performing a blow job easier too. One of my favourite tips is to perform a nice lubey hand job prior to using your mouth. Many people make the mistake of thinking lube isn’t needed for a blow job as the mouth is already wet, but that isn’t always the case. The general rule is ‘wetter is better’ so why not prep the peen with a drop of lube ahead of time? Adding lube will help your lips glide across his shaft with ease from the get-go and make the whole experience more enjoyable for both of you. You can even use a flavoured lube like the So Divine Strawberry Lubricant to make things even more delicious! Take Your Time & Build Up Anticipation Take your time and build anticipation. Taking the time to build excitement transforms a good blow job into an amazing blow job. Start by caressing and kissing your partner everywhere that’s usually hidden by their underwear, except their genitals! Stroke and lick their lower tummy, inner thighs and groin, but don’t go near their shaft or balls until they’re well and truly aroused. Once you feel they can’t take anymore (and if your partner is comfortable with ball play) move onto their balls. Next move onto the shaft of the penis, using your lips and tongue to stimulate the full length of the penis, all except the head. Leave the head of the penis until absolutely last. By the time you’ve spent all this time everywhere else, they’ll be practically begging you to put the head in your mouth. This technique of leaving the head until last not only builds anticipation, but it also increases blood flow to the penis and, therefore, sensitivity. By the time you put the tip in your mouth your partner will be so sensitive the warmth of your mouth will be almost overwhelming. For your own comfort, I recommend opening your mouth as wide as possible and sticking your tongue out as far as it will go. This will make maximum space inside your mouth to receive a penis and reduce gagging. It also keeps play really wet and sloppy, which is always a winner. Use Your Hands If you like the idea of giving your partner oral but you just struggle with performing it, there are some tips which can help, one of which is to use your hands too. Blow jobs don’t have to be all mouth, and by adding your hands to the mix to stroke his shaft, you can use your mouth on just the tip of the penis and create the sensation of you taking the full length, without actually doing so. Add Lube & Toys For Extra Sensations Lubes are a great accessory for blow jobs, whether you choose a flavoured one or a simple water-based one, adding lube to your oral play can enhance sensation and slip-factor, which can enhance the experience for both of you. Vibrating toys can also really enhance a blow job. The So Divine Adjustable Vibrating Cock Ring can really amp up pleasure during oral when worn around the base of the penis. The So Divine Vibrating Stimulator is another excellent toy designed to be used on a penis, its curved tip cups the shaft and encircles it with vibrations. It’s great for placing on their penis shaft or head while your mouth looks after their balls. Finally, a trusty butt plug is a surefire way to skyrocket your partner’s pleasure. With a butt plug in place, they can enjoy hands-free anal pleasure while you are left with two free hands and a willing mouth to take care of the rest! The So Divine Silicone Butt Plug is a perfect choice but if you really want to step things up a notch, the So Divine Vibrating Butt Plug is sure to do the trick! Maintain A Steady Rhythm Changing rhythm mid way through a blow job can halt the pleasure. You want to start slow, and incrementally increase your rhythm. Then maintain that rhythm. Changing from slow, to fast, to slow again can be a great way to help edge your partner, but if you want to make them cum, maintaining a steady rhythm is key. The main thing to remember is that everyone is different, and what one person with a penis enjoys, another may not. For example, some people love having the tip of their penis focused on, while others find this area far too sensitive. Some people love deep throat, others really don’t. The biggest mistake people make is not asking their partner what kind of stimulation they like, so be sure to communicate and check in to find out if they like what you’re doing, and if there’s anything you could do differently to really get them there, before you just assume. Focus On More Than The Penis The best blow jobs focus on more than simply the penis. The scrotal skin is an extremely sensitive area that can be very pleasurable when touched. I recommend going in gently, and checking in with your partner regularly to see what works for them. Softly licking and maneuvering the loose skin with your tongue and lips is a good place to start and, if you and your partner are comfortable doing so, you can pop a ball at a time in your mouth. Be careful not to suck too hard or twist the balls though as this can be painful! A particularly sensitive area is the perineal raphe (the line up the middle of the of your partner’s balls) so this can be a great area to focus on; try licking up from their perineum all the way up, between their balls to the shaft, and experiment with using a broad flat tongue vs a skinny pointed tongue to see what they like best. Oral sex is also a great time to explore perineum stimulation and rimming, as these areas are loaded with nerve endings and can produce immense pleasure when stroked and licked. Try combining some shallow rimming with a hand job to really blow their mind. Pick a Comfortable Position The best position for performing a blow job all depends on the shape of the penis! If the erection is straight, then almost any comfortable position will work, but if it has a curve, you may want to pick a position in which the head of the penis is ‘facing you’. For example, if your partner has a penis which curves upwards when erect, then positions like a 69 with you on top can be much easier than you being between their legs or kneeling on the floor. If their penis curves down, then the opposite would be true. If you have long hair it can make things easier if you, and give them a great view, tie your hair up, too. Have Fun! Don’t be afraid to get messy and look like you’re having a good time! A sloppy blowie which you’re really into performing will always be a turn on for your partner. Forget trying to ‘look sexy’ (you already do) and have fun!
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Everything You Need To Know About Consent
Consent is respecting boundaries. Although usually associated with sex, consent is actually something we give and withhold in everyday scenarios all the time. In fact, every time you say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to a question or request, you are making a decision regarding consent and communicating your boundaries. Person 1: “Would you like a glass of wine?” Person 2: “No thank you. I don't drink alcohol.” This is a perfect example of a non-sex boundary being communicated. The only correct response in this scenario is for Person 1 to accept Person 2’s answer (and perhaps offer them an alternative beverage). Now, if Person 1 wants to be a total jerk, they would try and persuade Person 2 to join them for a boozy bevvy, make them feel silly for not drinking or pull the old FOMO rubbish on them. This would be an example of one person not respecting the other’s boundaries, and consent being coerced (which is rude and entirely disrespectful). Boundaries should always be respected and no one ever has the right to try and change your decision. People who try to move your boundaries are those who feel inconvenienced by them, and that’s their problem! Consent and sex. When it comes to sex, understanding consent is extremely important for everyone invovled because the emotional, physical and legal repercussions from non-consenting sex are HUGE. Non-consenting sex is assault, and that’s absolutely not the goal when it comes to shared intimacy. Having and giving clear consent protects both/all partners and ensures everyone knows what the rules of engagement are. Consent is an ongoing discussion which should continue throughout your sexy session. Good practice is to confirm consent whenever you embark on a new activity, such as changing position, moving to a new sex act or adding accessories to your playtime. It can be as simple as asking ‘how do you feel about doggy?’ or ‘I’d like to go down on you: how does that sound?’ Boundaries can change. Boundaries can change within a sex session: for example one of you may decide you’ve changed your mind about having sex, and no longer want to do it (even though you initially said ‘yes’), and that’s your right! Boundaries can also change over time, which is why it is still important to ascertain consent even in a long term relationship. It’s important to never assume that, simply because someone has consented to a particular sex act once before, that they will always be up for it. Maybe your partner consented to anal sex in the past, but that doesn’t mean they always will. It’s important to remember that consent can be given, withheld or withdrawn at any point for any reason. A person may initially agree to a particular activity, but part way through decide it’s not for them, or may even decide they don’t want to have sex at all any more. This is their right and the only response in this situation is to do exactly as they say, and stop what you are doing. Ignoring a change in boundaries changes the scenario from a shared sexual experience into a rape case. Consent which is non-retractable is not consent. Consent can also be conditional. For example, a person may agree to have sex as long as a condom is worn. If that condom is intentionally removed during sex without the person’s knowledge (known as ‘stealthing’*), the boundary of consent has not been respected and, again, sexytime just turned into assault. Consent is clear and freely given. Consent is something which comes from within. It should be autonomous, independent and without outside influence. It should also be clear-cut and without ambiguity. If it’s not enthusiastic, obvious consent, it’s not consent. Consent is all about boundaries and decision-making, therefore a person being asked for consent must be capable of making a decision for themselves. If they’re not in a position to make a decision, they are not able to give consent. Scenarios where this may be the case are: When a person is under the influence of mind-altering substances (such as alcohol or drugs) When a person is under the age of consent (this can vary depending where in the world you are) When a person is unconscious/asleep (if a person can’t hold a conversation, they can’t give consent) When a person feels afraid or threatened (this can be due to the present situation, or in response to previous trauma) When a person is unaware of what they are agreeing to (eg using colloquialisms and slang like ‘first base’ and ‘second base’ can leave opportunity for ambiguity) Yes means Yes! One of the key elements of consent is that it should be enthusiastic! Consent should feel eager, excited and fun, and if you’re not entirely sure that’s the response you’re getting, you should definitely check in with the person who’s ‘giving consent’ to make sure they really are comfortable with what they are saying. For many years we’ve heard the phrase ‘no means no’ (which is obviously correct) but, in my eyes, ‘yes means yes’ is more relevant and powerful when discussing consent. The old ‘no means no’ leaves too much room for ‘assumed consent’ in the absence of the word ‘no’ (which is not consent), whereas a keen and enthusiastic ‘YES!’ is undoubtedly consent. What consent sounds/looks like: What consent doesn’t sound like: ✓ ‘YES!’ ✖ ‘Uhh…’ ✓ ‘Hell yeah!’ ✖ ‘We’ll see’ ✓ ‘OMG YAAASSSS’ ✖ ‘Maybe later’ ✓ ‘Yes, please!’ ✖ ‘If you want to’ ✓ ‘I can’t wait’ ✖ ‘I’m tired’ ✓ ‘Do it now!’ ✖ ‘No’ ✓ ‘Keep going’ ✖ ‘Stop’ ✓ Grabbing / pulling / trying to be closer to you / good eye contact ✖ Pushing away / avoidant body language / lack of eye contact / frozen still ✖ Silence If in doubt… Stop. There should never be any doubt in anyone’s mind as to whether consent has been freely, genuinely and enthusiastically given. If you’re even the slightest bit unsure, stop, and check in with everyone involved. It’s better to stop and possibly pause passion for a moment to make sure everyone’s having a good time, than it is to continue and potentially become a rapist. What about roleplay? Sometimes she says ‘stop’ but doesn’t really mean it... This is a question I get asked a lot, particularly from guys who’ve had sex with girls who like to ‘play innocent’ and use words like ‘no’ and ‘stop’ as part of roleplay. If this is something you and your partner are into, it should be clearly discussed before you engage in sex and, if words like ‘no’ and ‘stop’ don’t actually mean ‘no’ or ‘stop’ during your sex play, you must create a safe word to replace those words. Safe words allow you to still explore your kink or roleplay, whilst giving you both a clear and unmistakable way of stopping play, should either of you need to. If you’re sleeping with someone and a safe word hasn’t been set up, you should always assume that ‘no’ means ‘no’, and ‘stop’ means ‘stop’.
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Top Masturbation Tips For Her
Masturbation should not be a taboo topic for women and we're encouraging everyone to openly talk about it more often! Not only does it feel OMG so amazing but it can also improve your health and sex life. Whether you struggle to reach orgasm or are keen to learn some more masturbation technique, these tips will help take your masturbation game to the next level. Enjoy! 1. Add some Lube. Lube is your secret weapon and can be quite often forgotten about. It's a bedroom essential! A little dab of lube can make stimulation much more comfortable during your solo sessions. If you've not already tried using lube whilst masturbating then we highly recommend trying it. 2. Use your Imagination. They say the mind is the most powerful sexual organ in the body! Imagination has to be our most underrated sexual gift. We can choose and live any fantasy we want in our minds, so why not use it more when masturbating. Get creative and explore different fantasies using your imagination and watch your masturbation game go from zero to one hundred. 3. Pleasure over orgasm. Masturbation doesn’t always have to end with an orgasm! When you take the focus off orgasms during play and instead put it on pleasure, you’re often able to enjoy the sensations more. 4. Play with other erogenous zones. Instead of gong straight for clitoral stimulation why not try massaging your non-genital erogenous zones. It's not all about the genitals during masturbation...the best play is when you enjoy all areas of the body! What's even better is it will allow you to get to know your body more and what feels good for you. 5. Combine stimulation. More is better... it certainly is when you combine different types of stimulation all at once. Why not try masturbating whilst simultaneously stimulating different erogenous zones at the same time. More zones = MORE pleasure. Try massaging your nipples the same time you're rubbing your clit or even try masturbating whilst wearing a butt plug in for a more intense pleasure experience. 6. Watch ethical porn. Maybe your imagination isn't quite doing it for you... it happens! Why not invest in some ethical porn. 7. Explore sex toys. Wanna know how to really switch up the game? Add toys to really turn your masturbation game into something you've really been craving. The majority of vibrators are specifically made for clitoral stimulation which will heighten your pleasure experience. Maybe you're looking to hit your g-spot and your fingers aren't quite doing it for you. There are a variety of internal vibrators specifically made to help target your g-spot (Our g-spot vibe is a fabulous choice). Go on...treat yourself to a new vibe and we promise you won't regret it! 8. Try an suction simulator. If you're looking for a vibrator that's going to completely change your masturbation game for good then we recommend trying a clitoral suction stimulator. These toys will bring a whole new level of pleasure to your clit and will have you begging for more. They mimic oral-sex with the use of suction pulsations and are currently one of the most popular toys on the market! We recommend trying any of these clitoral suction stimulators... the reviews speak for themselves 9. Try edging. Want to learn how you can build up to a super powerful orgasm? Try edging! This is where you build up to when you are about to climax and then back off just before. If you do this a couple times it can make your next orgams much more powerful and intense. Try it next time...
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How To Find Your G-spot - By Jess Wilde
What is the G-spot? The G-spot refers to a super-sensitive area inside the vagina that, when stimulated correctly, can produce what is known as a ‘G-spot orgasm’. For years this ultra-responsive area was believed to be an inexplicable collection of nerve endings inside the vagina (some even doubted its existence altogether!) but nowadays, thanks to research, it is more commonly understood to be the internal anatomy of the clitoris. No matter its origins or anatomical lineage, people with a clitoris can achieve great pleasure and even orgasm when this area is stimulated in the right way. Where is it? The G-spot is located around 2-3 inches inside the vagina on the anterior (front) wall. How to find the G-spot I recommend exploring the G-spot during solo play first. More than a form of self-care, masturbation is a meditative experience that allows you to explore and experiment freely without thinking about someone else's pleasure. Once you’re familiar with your body you’ll find it much easier to explain to a partner what you like, as well as be empowered to enhance your pleasure during paired sex through additional stimulation. During solo play, there are two main ways in which you can begin to explore G-spot pleasure: with fingers or with toys. Fingers Using just your fingers is a great way to explore at first because you get the benefit of feeling with your internal anatomy as well as your fingertips. Laying on your back with a pillow under your bum, or sitting in a comfy chair with your legs open and one bent up, lubricate and insert one or two fingers with your palm facing towards you. Lubrication helps enhance glide and sensation, and can also help you relax and focus entirely on the sensations at hand. Experiment with which fingers are the best and easiest to use. Some people like to use their pointer and middle finger, others find it easier with their middle and ring fingers, leaving their pointer and baby fingers resting externally. With your fingers inserted, begin moving them in a ‘come hither’ motion, stroking the front wall in different areas until you find one which feels more sensitive than the rest. Top tip: Pay attention to any changes in texture inside your vagina as you explore. Not only does this familiarise you with your internal anatomy, but these ‘textural landmarks’ can be super-helpful when directing a partner. Keep stimulating this area, experimenting with different strokes, speeds and pressures to find what you like best. If your other hand is available, try stimulating your clitoris at the same time to see how that changes sensation. Sex Toys Sex toys are another great way to discover G-spot pleasure and, in particular G-spot orgasm. G-spot toys are designed specifically to help make G-spot massage easy and tend to feature a curved shaft to direct the tip of the toy towards the G-spot (instead of the back of the vagina) and a bulbous tip with a large surface area to maximise G-spot stimulation and pleasure. A curved G-spot toy can be enjoyed in almost any position, as long as it’s inserted with the tip facing the front wall of the vagina. For a foolproof fondle, try using a G-spot vibrator whilst laying on your back with a pillow under your bum. Insert the toy until you notice the tip is on your G-spot, turn it on and explore the settings until you find one which makes your legs shake. The So Divine G-spot Vibrator is perfect for this kind of play. With its bulbous textured tip and curved angle, it makes a beeline for your sweet spots, while the oversized button and navigational notch make operation a doddle. Vibrators not your thing? Or maybe you want something which feels more akin to penetrative sex? Try a suction cup dildo. A suction cup dildo, no matter its shape, is perfect for exploring G-spot massage when inserted from behind. Suction cup dildos stick to any smooth surface but for this, I recommend a vertical surface like a tiled wall. Sticking your dildo to a wall enables you to try penetration from behind on your own (without twisting yourself like a pretzel). A lot of people with a clitoris say that their favourite heterosexual sex position is from behind (aka doggy), and this is because penetration from this angle tends to result in better contact with the G-spot. To try it for yourself, stick your dildo to a vertical, smooth, hard surface and lubricate the toy and yourself. If you’re in the shower or bath, be extra careful not to get any lube on the floor. Gently insert the tip of the toy and push yourself onto it as far as feels good. Experiment with different depths of penetration, try bouncing back and forth, rotating your hips and adjust the way you stand to explore different angles and sensations. For example, standing upright with your back against the wall whilst gently rocking your hips should direct the tip of the dildo right to your G-spot. The So Divine Glorious Suction Cup Dildo is not just great for this kind of play, it was made for it! With its super-strong suction cup base that holds fast to any smooth surface and a firm-yet-squishy dual-density shaft that feels a helluva lot like the real deal during play, it’s the perfect choice for hands-free G-spot masturbation. Written By Jess Wilde
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Where Are The Erogenous Zones?
So What Does Erogenous Mean? Erogenous comes from the Greek word 'Eros' which means love and 'Genous' meaning producing ... "inducing erotic sensation or sexual desire" An erogenous zone is an area of the body that has heightened sensitivity and can produce a sexual response when stimulated, including relaxation, arousal and orgasm. The erogenous zones are extra sensitive due to the large amount of nerve endings in these particular areas which causes heightened sensitivity. Where Are Some Of The Erogenous Zones On The Body? The most obvious erogenous zones include the nipples, clitoris, G-spot for women and penis and testicles for men, although there are plenty of other sensual zones that tend to get forgotten about. Find out where they are and the best tips to stimulate these sensitive areas. 1. The Neck Ever wondered why neck kisses feel so damn good?! The nape and back of your neck have plenty of nerve endings which will help to get you in the mood. By running the tips of your fingers up and down your partners neck whilst kissing is bound to enlighten their senses. 2. Inner Thighs Before going straight into oral, have your partner tease your inner thighs. The thighs are actually a lot more sensitive than you'd probably think and are packed full of sensitive nerve endings for those feel-good sensations. 3. Ears Yep that's right, even your ears are an erogenous zone but are often overlooked. They may not seem very sexy but they're super sensitive due to their sensory receptors which can lead to amazing feelings when your partner gently kisses or nibbles on them. 4. Stomach The area above your pelvic is a major tease! In addition to this, the the lower stomach is close you the vulva which can be very exciting for some women when stimulated. 5. Hands The hands are a very sensual part of the body even though we might not think of them in that way. Your fingertips are full of nerve endings so even just a small touch can produce an entire wave of sensations. To kick it up a notch during sex, have your partner gently suck on your fingers once at a time. 6. Lips One of the more obvious ones...the lips will always be one of the hottest erogenous zones. They've actually got 100 times more nerve endings than our fingertips. Just the slightest touch can lead to a rush of feel-good hormones making you feel happy, relaxed and super turned on. Top Tip - To heighten these sensitive areas even more...try using a massaging wand over certain erogenous zones to tickle your sensitive nerve endings even more.
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Pleasure Resolutions - By Sexpert Jess Wilde
Whether you’re someone who sets New Year’s Resolutions or not, pleasure is a gift and something we should all be enjoying more of (especially after the last couple of years!) so we wanted to kick things off right this year and begin prioritising our pleasure. “How can I do that?” we hear you cry…These 8 Pleasure Resolutions for 2022 from Jess Wilde should get you started. Got extras we left off the list? Or maybe you have a pleasure mantra you already follow? Add your own in the comments section; we love to hear how you keep pleasure at the top of your priorities list. 1. I will make time for pleasure Prioritising your pleasure starts with making time for it. You make time for other important self-care routines, like showering and brushing your teeth (or at least I hope you do!) and sexual pleasure is just as important. When it comes to solo-lovin’, my top-tip is to combine masturbation with another self-care routine, like showering or taking a bath. Not only is this an easy place to get some alone time, but there is a lock on the door and you’re already naked - win-win! For couples who play together, make time by scheduling intimacy. This can be as simple as setting a day (or several) of the week or, if you have unusual weekly patterns, plan it around your time off eg “I have Wednesday off next week… shall we plan some ‘us time’?”. Contrary to popular belief, booking in your sexytime can be really exciting and give you both something to look forward to. 2. I will try new things Many of us get stuck in a routine, performing the same activities to get us off. That could be reaching for the same sex toy, watching the same porn or repeating the same sex positions time-and-time again. It makes sense - it worked last time, so why wouldn’t you do it again? One reason it’s important to try new things is to give yourself what I like to call a ‘sexual reserve’. In other words, you give yourself other pathways to climax just in case your tried and tested method fails for some reason. What if your favourite toy breaks, or that amazing porn gets taken offline? Or, due to injury, you’re unable to get into ‘that’ sex position? How are you going to get your rocks off now? If you’ve spent time discovering other ways to achieve pleasure, and stocked up your ‘sexual reserve’, you’ll have plenty of alternative play options to explore. 3. I will invest in my pleasure This isn’t just about investing money (although that can be part of it), it’s also about investing time in research. If you want to get good at something, having some knowledge on the subject goes a long way, and sex and pleasure are no different. Read about sex, look up tips and ideas for play. Research toys, learn about lubes and long over lingerie to discover ideas for new things to try (see resolution 2). Then, invest some money. You don’t have to spend a fortune, but not choosing the cheapest option often results in a better experience. Sex and arousal are sensory, so it makes sense that spending a little extra on glorious lingerie fabrics, longer-lasting lubricants and high quality sex toys will give you better pleasure. Not to mention, higher priced items are usually made from body-safe materials like silicone which will keep your bits happy after the action, too. Read reviews. Check product stats. Think about what you like. And then take the plunge! 4. I will look after my toys Look after your toys and your toys will look after you. Part of making your pleasure a priority is caring for the things which bring you pleasure. Follow these instructions every time you use sex toys: Wash your toy with antibacterial soap and warm water Pat or air dry Spritz with antibacterial sex toy cleaner Store individually in a sex toy bag or an old sock DO NOT throw all your toys in one box or bag together. Different materials can react with one another when they touch, resulting in your toys melting or, worse, chemical burns the next time you use them. Ouch! 5. I will let go of shame Let go of any shame you might have around masturbation and sexual pleasure. I know this might seem easier said than done, but one thing which helps a lot of people is to remember that the World Health Organisation lists sexual pleasure as a fundamental human right, and they don’t just do that for any old thing! Another important thing to remember is that all shame is learned, and you know what that means? It can be unlearned, albeit with some practice and consistent effort. Shift the idea of sexual pleasure from a shameful place into a ‘self-care’ place in your mind. It’s as good for you as taking your vitamins and you don’t feel shame about that, do you? 6. I will talk openly and honestly If you like to share your sexytime with other people, it's important that you discuss your likes and dislikes with them openly and honestly. You’d discuss your dietary requirements with someone who cooks for you, so why wouldn’t you discuss your pleasure requirements with someone you’re about to have sexual relations with? 7. I will treat my body with love and respect Experiencing pleasure is as much a psychological act as it is a physical one, and treating your body with love and respect starts with the way you talk and think about yourself. We are all guilty of paying too much attention to areas of our body we dislike and, although many body positive influencers would say differently, it is normal to have bits of our bodies we might change given the chance (whether that be with exercise, a fresh tan, a new tattoo or even surgery) but spending too much time focusing on these areas isn’t great for your self-esteem or ability to feel and enjoy body-based pleasure. One way to combat this is to spend time concentrating on areas of your body you love. It could be your hands, your teeth, your eyes, your belly button… any part of you. Look at those parts in a mirror, and give yourself compliments. 8. I will focus on the journey, not the destination The saying ‘expectations are the thief of joy’ is never more true than when referring to pleasure. Pleasure is a journey, not a destination and although orgasms are great, putting too much focus on achieving orgasm can often be detrimental to your overall pleasure. Not only does it distract you from enjoying all the immense pleasure of moving towards climax, but putting too much pressure on yourself can actually prevent you from climaxing at all. So remove the targets (we’re not at work!) and just enjoy the ride!
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The Importance Of Sex And How To Embrace It
A good sex life is great for your overall well-being. It has a number of benefits from improving sleep quality to easing anxiety, so why do so many people struggle to embrace their sex life? Sex is more often than not seen as a taboo subject. In reality, seeking a fulfilling sex life is normal, and understanding your sexual health can help you lead a happier life. If you’re still nervous about starting your sexual journey, then don’t fret because here are some simple ways to help you conquer your sex life. Understanding Sexuality Oftentimes the physical act of sex seems like the most crucial aspect of your sexual health journey, however, understanding your sexuality is just as important. Your sexuality is not determined by who you’re having sex with, but by how you identify yourself. Since sexuality can come in many different forms, understanding your own sexuality will help you feel more confident and comfortable with yourself, which will translate into the bedroom. It can be tricky to navigate and fully understand your sexuality. If you’re someone who needs a label to understand yourself or someone who chooses no label at all, remember the choice is completely yours. There is no right or wrong way to identify yourself, so do not rush the process! Take your time to research through books, movies, or other people’s experiences. This can be a tough process, but will benefit you and your mental health in the long run. Practicing Self-Love Loving yourself sounds simple enough but for many, it’s where they struggle the most. Self-love is the ability to appreciate not only your personality, but also your body. Self-love helps break you from insecurities and self-doubt that might prevent you from being your best, most sensual self. In order to move past your self-doubt and benefit from a healthy sex life, you have to get to know yourself and your body. The first step in feeling more confident with yourself is to get to know your body and what turns you on. Understanding sexual pleasure can feel awkward or embarrassing, but trust the process. Start simple by touching yourself, and see how you respond to sexual stimulation. If you struggle to orgasm, then incorporate a self-pleasure vibrator while masturbating. Using a vibrator will help you focus on your needs and pleasure without the added stress of someone else’s desires. Regardless of how you practice self-love, once you master it, you will see a change in your confidence and your sexual abilities. Discuss Your Insecurities We all have insecurities, and when you add sex to the mix, your insecurities feel maximized. It’s hard to feel your sexiest self when you struggle with self-image or other bedroom-related insecurities—but don’t let it stop you from enjoying yourself and your partner. Remember, most insecurities stem from expectations you’ve learned from magazines, porn, and other outlets. You think your body has to move or look a certain way, but in reality, sex is whatever you want it to be, so don’t feel embarrassed. Communication is an essential part of your sexual journey, so talk to your partner about what is making you feel anxious. This creates a safe space where you can discuss insecurities or how to make sex a better experience for both parties. However, if your insecurities are hindering your performance due to nervousness or other medical issues, then consider treatment options like Sildenafil for ed. Insecurities are normal, so don’t let them control your sex life. Include Your Partner Now that you have mastered your alone time, it’s time to introduce your partner to everything you’ve learned! If on your journey for sexual empowerment you discovered a kink of yours, then introduce them into your relationship. Start off by using hypotheticals to help get your partners interested. Using hypotheticals will help your partner visualize and understand clearly what you want. You can even ask to go sex toy shopping with your partner to build suspense. Including them in on the fun will open a conversation on what feels best for you and also gauge what you both are willing to try. Mutual masturbation is also a fun and beneficial way to change up the day-to-day while experimenting with one another. Including your partner in your sexual endeavors will bring you both closer and add some life into the bedroom. Sex should be fun, regardless of how many people are involved or if it’s just yourself. Sex is also extremely beneficial to your mental and physical health, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect at it, and remember you should be enjoying yourself too!
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